Thursday, February 2, 2012

Flash Friday 55: The American Miniaturist





She’s fiercely painted,
Long curly hair tied behind her head
so that her ears are open to his voice:
which is a pile of leaves
whose tongues are knotted and forked.
Through corridors of trees,
descriptive self reflections
of the leaves,
She discovers his values,
Acts of obedience,
While sitting in a tiny oval.

-----

  

If you write 55 words stories, wish to have one of your talents published via Bluebell Books, please feel free to submit to their collection (see the first link above), along with your name, blog link, and content copy and pasted in the comment section, have fun, bless all!

20 comments:

Taylor Boomer said...

brilliant,

love it, smiles.

G-Man said...

Tifiny...
Thank you for visiting Mr. Knowitall.
I loved your 55.
Loved the pic, you tied it in beautifully!
You are welcome anytime
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

Heaven said...

Lovely painting and words ~

Brian Miller said...

which is a pile of leaves
whose tongues are knotted and forked.

nice imagery there...and the obedience feels quite cold....

TALON said...

The painting is amazing and the 55 is intriguing.

Dani said...

Reflective with a dark undertone
Nice 55 story

Margaret said...

I love 55's taking on a painting for a story! Like the description of her hair.

Wander said...

I liked your poem, struggle and submission

http://toolongasolitude.blogspot.com/2012/02/flash-friday-55-american-miniaturist.html

Isadora Gruye said...

oh, this one has a razor sharp edge. I enjoyed the idea of his voice being a pile of leaves with a knotted stick tongue. I feel you carried that idea into the second stanza and opened it up, building into the strong last lines of learning while sitting in a tiny oval. --as much as I love the last line, it ties the poem specifically to the image above it. It it were to appear without it out it, those last lines would not make sense (perhaps)...just something to consider if you are looking to print the piece.

I would also suggest changing the red font of His voice to the same color of the rest of the poem. For me, I felt it gave him too much attention, when really this is her poem. again, just a suggestion. Great work and thanks for posting! Viva la

booguloo said...

Great imagination.

ayala said...

Lovely!!!!!!!

Arian Tejano said...

corridors of trees had me.

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

Nicely written!

JJRod'z

Isabel Doyle said...

Fine 55

Sue said...

knotted and forked.

Nice.

=)

Wayne Pitchko said...

nicely done...thanks for sharing your words

Susie Clevenger said...

such a unique writing... a pile of leaves whose tongues are knotted and forked..love that line. Great piece!

HyperCRYPTICal said...

Wonderful imagery!

Anna :o]

Summer Rain said...

amazing imagery in your words here, smiles.

keep it up.

Kay said...

Oh, this is an amazing piece with such imaginative lines!